It's the time of the day when I feel like blogging because work is boring again...
I've been reading some strangers' blogs recently (okay, I've been reading many blogs)... There's this girl, on exchange programme to italy, while her boyfriend is on exchange in the states. What a lucky couple! And from what I read, they met halfway, went on a road trip to arizona, toured around europe, had lotsa cocktails... Lotsa fun. Lotsa freedom. And she's beautiful. sigh. What about me??? Stuck in this lil' city, can't even make it to my summer retreat, working at a very miserable wage rate and with no moolahs. damn
=( Then, there are also a few others, moaning and groaning and bitching about life... oh ya, and there's also this lil' teenage gay couple. lol.
It then occurred to me, What do people think and feel when they chanced upon my blog? Or even my own friends, how do they feel?? Do I sound happy? Do I talk stupid? Do you think you know the real me just because you read all my blog entries faithfully?? Do you think I talk about everything and anything about how I feel and what I do??
Who ever said life is happy?
Who ever said you have to be happy to have a life?
Who ever said life has to be meaningful???
What do you mean by having a meaningful life?
To do all the right things?
To have no regrets?
To be happy 24/7?
To be beautiful?
To be perfect?
To have all the love in the world?
To have all the greatest things in life?
To have chocolate in your mouth all the time?
To live in a big bungalow and have a wonderful family?
Oh com'on. Whoever has the answer to the meaning in life must be god.
And what do you mean by life is meaningless??
Are you crippled? Are you infested with the worst disease in the world? Are you handicapped in any other ways??
When you're doing so many things, and having a lil' fun ocassionally, you're saying life is meaningless?
Just because I talk about happy stuff doesn't mean I don't feel sad and dejected. And just because I don't usually post depressing entries doesn't mean I'm damn happy all the time.
You may say that I must be damn optimistic then. At least I can say I've tried. Why should I go on and on about what my lousy mood? I don't wanna talk about depressing stuff all the time. It makes even the happiest person on earth depress.
I guess it's all part of growing up? Sometimes, things happen too quickly. So fast so that you can't even grasp hold of what has and what hasn't changed.
Time ain't gonna stop to wait for me to grow up.
Nobody will stop by, and ask me, How's growing up?
There's no use trying to compare myself with others.
It's different, I know.
Maybe it's good to feel or get lost once in a while, that's when you start to question yourself, and try hard to get things right again. But it's gonna suck if you wanna remain lost forever.
And don't start asking me Why, How, or What like you care.
